Procrastination at its best

Bills are piling, collection agencies hounding and yet I am watching the Locator on TLC and being a judge on American Idol tonight. The word priorities is such a tough word and honestly not fair if you ask me. I start off with the right intentions, but get sidetracked quit often. Hard to believe I became a home owner last year in September, married w/ 3 boys and one on the way. I often tell myself that I am a spontaneous person and I will not be tied down to this super mom BS and be held accountable to this invisible list of rules for moms that I know is out there..gosh dang it. But yet, I am constantly measuring myself according to this list and finding all the flaws I possibly can with myself. I admit that most of them will stick, because the truth hurts. If I were a cork board, I would be full of post-it notes of all the things I have or haven't done right. I am not sure why I procrastinate on what is important...Thats a lie..Mainly because I hate facing the hole I have put myself in. Nobody ever throws a ladder to me..not even my husband. Turd. Anyways, I often feel like I am overwhelmed with to much on my plate. But I do take on more than I can handle, but in no way meet the super mom criteria. I limit my kids activities, simply because I know I can't hack it and there are only 24 hours in a day, which I like to at least sleep in 6-8 of those if at all possible.
So, in all honesty I am not the best at paying bills on time, but it gets done eventually. But I am not a complete loser. I did just graduated from college with my double major in Marketing and Business Management. And yes..for extra sympathy I did do this being a full-time parent, full-time worker etc. My appearance has been sacrificed though..something had to go...unfortunately me. So I am in the process of getting myself back together hopefully. Although I am worried I will be again setback with another child coming. Lets face it..when we have kids, we tend to take backseat until are stinkers are on their way. Well, at least I will admit I did big time.
I am in the process of deciding to go back to school again in April for my Masters in Human Services. I love dealing with people and I feel I would be good with case managment or something dealing with helping children etc. Why on earth did I go to school for Business is beyond me..Well, I actually thought I could start a business someday..but those cost money and with student loans twisting my panties and bills waiting..I figured some capital might be a good idea to start with. So finding the next step for me is what I am looking for right now..although it is no suprise that I am procrastinating on that as well. Lord in heaven help me make a decision..