Turning 30

Well, I can officially say I am 30 now and I haven't died nor passed out from mourning or anything. I chose to throw my own little party. I invited everyone that I could think of that I wanted to come to a gathering just for me. Although only a handful came, I was amazed at what joy I felt surrounded by all these people that had somehow impacted my life in one way or the other. It is amazing when you think of everyone in your life and how you met them or even close family members and all the struggles you have endured together. Who we surround ourselves with, whether they are close by or all across the country...they make up your life and what your about in my opinion. I had wished someone would throw me a surprise 30th birthday, but I am also not a retard and new nobody I knew had the time, money or abilities to handle such a task. But I didn't want to spend in at home doing nothing, nor did I want to be upset or avoid turning the big 30. So, I chose to invite whomever would come to spend time with me and in the end it was spectacular and I honestly felt allot of love and happiness. I believe that these moments in life are necessary, knowing you matter in the lives of others is a wonderful and I was beaming this night. There is no price tag for getting together with people you love and care about it and it was all worth it. Even though I made them all pay for themselves...they still came, such good friends they are. We went to a fancy restaurant called the Thomas House in Marshfield, WI and enjoyed a nice meal w/ drinks. Closed my night off with a movie with my best friend and my husband, followed by relaxing on the couch at home enjoying conversation. Thanks to my wonderful daddy who watched my three boys, this was all possible.
So, although I am not where I want to be in life and have many worries floating in my brain, there is much a happiness to be found in what I have accomplished. I have bought my first home, I now have a college degree, I have 3 healthy strapping young boys and another child on the way, have a good relationship w/ everyone in my immediate family, am finding myself more so then ever, my relationship is growing with God, reconnected with so many friends and much more that I can't think of right now. But I'd say I am doing okay.
Plans for the future including remodeling on our house, getting my Masters, getting a financially secure job, working on my marriage..so it lasts another 20 years or so, bringing up my boys in the best way possible and whoever this other little person is inside me, getting new or used vehicles...preferably in better shape than the ones we have, paying off many debts, landscaping my yard w/ garden included, putting a fence up..privacy that is, do some traveling outside the U.S, go on a missionary trip with some of my kids hopefully, and the last thing I can think of, but most importantly.....figuring out what, when and how God is going to bring his calling over my life to pass. I question if I have a calling at times...although I know that is the enemy, but times a clicking and I need to get moving. I know seeking him out in the Word, prayer, worship and on my knees is where I will find these answers, but learning to discipline myself and my spirit to do these things is the tricky part and the flesh is weak as of presently...so need work on that...oh yes.
So..its almost 3am..I was sick most the night...then felt like eating oranges and am currently finishing them off w/ a glass of ice water. Hoping they don't come back to haunt me. I can here my babies sleeping upstairs peacefully, my husband snoring loud enough in our bedroom...I could swear a train was coming through our room, our finances are a mess and the future is unclear, but yet I feel peace...strangely enough. I am human and am worrying, but I know God has got a plan and I give my worries to him right now and put my trust in him to bring us through. Thank you Jesus for another year of life and bringing me into my 30's gracefully. Lord..I thank you for all you've given me.

Well...I am getting tired..time for some sleep, that's if that train will take a hike to the next town..we shall see..LOL.
Till next time.